Friday, September 08, 2006

The real McHoy

I made a passing comment in a recent post about how no one in the bloggery poker world thinks more about the game than Hoyazo. The dude's treatise about playing small- to mid-pocket pairs is tremendous. (A co-worker has brought up Hoy's that post twice in discussing hands he had played.) Toss in his recent narrative about his march to a 180 win on Stars and his 6-4 sooooted hand quiz and you have the start of a saleable poker primer -- Hoy's Rules of Poker?

And while I'm in appreciation mode, I would like to express a heartfelt thanks to the bloggerly community. I type in awe of its members near and far who have educated, entertained, and, in a few instances, irritated. And that's good, too. Isn't a little friction healthy, after all?

While I can never dream of achieving Waffle's Howard Beale-like status, let's say I'm aware of my occasionally abrasive tendencies (as well as my contextually poor stabs at humor). If I have offended, I apologize. And if I transgress in the future, I would appreciate it if you could find a small measure of pity and/or understanding for this hopeless cretin.

None of those sentiments, however, apply to Young Dr. Benson, who had the temerity to make fun of my tragic laryngal deficiencies. How would you like it if you spent your entire adult life answering the phone and being asked by strangers to speak to your parents? Or having every 1-900-SEX-TALK line in the universe refuse your credit card number and business because you sound like an 8-year-old boy? It's rough, mister. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Speaking of Hoy's 6-4 soooted quiz, I believe I failed it miserably. I commented that I would have used the same line of play until the re-raise, where I would have insta-folded. (Hoy called, hit a card and won a nice pot.) The real answer is, of course ... there is no real reason to play those garbage hands early, middle or late in a tournament. Must ... stop ... playing ... junk ... hands... hacker. (Of course, you are occasionally encouraged to engage in such hijinks when you take down a nice-sized pot with powerhouses like 5d-3d, which just happened in an $11 tourney on Tilt.)

Finally, I witnessed the absolutely worst 27 minutes of poker ever during last night's 10K guaranteed on Tilt. Virtually every hand featured a donkey play so egregious that it made the play of my opponent in my near-bustout hand appear brilliant in comparison.

I doubled up on hand 7 with pocket queens. Twenty-seven minutes in, I find pocket aces on the button, re-raise the loose-agg donkey to my immediate right and get called by the new guy to my immediate left. Agg Boy folds. New guy shoves on the queen-high flop and I call, leaving me 295 behind. He has Q-J, gets runner-runner jacks and I'm gone a few minutes later. Such is life. But it did give me the opportunity to type: "How do you people afford the $26 buy-in? Plasma clinics." Felt much better after that and won me a peep token.


Anonymous Chris said...

Plasma clinics. LOL. Classic. I must steal that sometime.

9:54 PM  
Blogger Iakaris aka I.A.K. said...


i too will be borrowing that in the near future.

2:46 PM  
Blogger Pokerwolf said...

If you want to one up the "plasma clinic" line, use "sperm banks" instead.

Well done, sir!

10:24 AM  

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