One-timer

Despite this Hoyastic screen shot, the evening did not start out well. The lights on the DSL modem blinked ugly orange and my attempts to turn them green fell miserably short. I called the kind folks at DSL Inc. for help, and after working through the interminable automated menu, I was finally connected to a woman working at a call center in sub-Saharan Africa. She had me try numerous computer tricks to get the puppy up and running, but when she told me to remove my pants and run down the street screaming “I am a computer donk!” I grew suspicious.

After all of her attempts to connect me to the unreal world also failed, she devised a masterful plan. “Let me do a systems check,” she said. When she came back on the phone several minutes later, she informed me of a previously unknown network outage in the area and assured me that service would be restored sometime after 10 p.m.

After 10 p.m.? Are you kidding? Don’t you know what day this is? At precisely 10 p.m. EST every freakin’ Wednesday my broggerly brothers and sisters gather for The Mookie, one of the best bodacious online tournaments in existence. I simmered and stewed, considering how I might be able to at least get signed up in time, but conceded the fact I might be screwed.

Sometimes the luckbox is with you. DSL Inc. restored my service shortly before 9. I was in, baby!

I formulated a plan of attack before the tournament started: Pay attention, stupid.

The Mookie and other tournaments in the next week will serve as warm-ups for the Main Event 150-seat guaranteed on Stars. (I naively thought that if I were to get extremely lucky and actually win one of those seats that I could sell it for a tidy profit. I finally read the rules, which basically say, “No deal. Use it or lose it.

I started in full-aggression mode, chipping up, chipping down and chipping up again, my table image established. Two nice-sized pots with pocket aces put me in second place at the break.

Pocket kings in the second hour ran over chilldyl2002’s pocket jacks and kept me near the top of the leaderboard. Not long after, pocket aces sent xkm1245 to the rail. (Got to love it when all of your big pocket pairs hold up.)

I didn't do much of anything but fold from that point until we hit the final table, where once again The Mookie Master, surflexus, sat to my immediate left. At the bubble (five paid) George held the chip lead and would have been an easy pick to run away for his unprecedented fourth title. But the Poker Gods, as always, had something nasty to say about this. Sitting on around 4K, I doubled up against him with a flopped straight. Likely shocked that I could actually win a hand against him, he bubbled not long after.

The blinds and antes tearing huge chunks from stacks, I soon was on serious drip, destined for a tiny payday. Sitting in the big blind with only 2,200 left, mowenumdown raised, potentially putting me all-in. Argh. I’ve got Kc-4c, 1,300 chips and about 2.5-to-1 to call. A no-brainer, really. A macho man arrives on the flop to crack mow’s A-Q and my poker pulse continues beating faintly.

A few hands later, I double up-plus against Drewspop, calling his Qs-Js all-in with Ah-Kh. I make two pair on the A-K-x flop. No jack arrives for Chris, and the blood starts returning to my extremities. I chip up gradually with steals and a wickedly nice bluff against trkfix on a flop of A-A-7 flop. (Trk had earlier set a Mookie single-tournament all-in record. An interesting strategy, I guess, but damn annoying.)

Down to three (with mowenumdown and Grupper), I’m dealt J-10 in the small blind and complete. Grupper checks his option. The flop comes Jc-4s-10d. Alrighty then. I bet the minimum (1,200) and Grupper shoves his last 9,700. I’ve got him covered and call. He’s got pocket sevens and two pair is good again.

The tournament lasted only six more hands. I began heads-up with a 29K-21K chip lead over mow. In the third hand of H/U, mow raises to 3,600 from the small blind and I called with 10c-Qs. The flop comes Js-9d-2h. I check and mow leads for 4,800. I think about this (for too long) and get to wondering. My gut tells me that this flop didn’t hit grup at all. I’ve got a nice draw and plenty of folding equity. I check-raise/push and mow reluctantly folds.

That hand gave me a 35K-15K lead. Three hands later, I get pocket kings. Mow shoves with K-7, I call and win. Very cool.

I'm obviously happy to get my first Mookie/MATH/WWdN win. But I think I'm even more relieved. Now I have to take down another one. That might prove something. The over-under on that occurring should be posted soon in Vegas. The year 2010 is the expected number.