Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Brother, Can You Spare A Dime?

Last night, my head spinning from my 180 misfortunes and a long way from sleep, I pondered what to do with the rest of my life? Begin the Great American Novel? Broker peace in the Mideast? Stick my head in the oven? Too lazy to do any of those things, I did what any disreputable low-limit junkie would do, jumped into a mean-ass .04-.08 stud hi-lo game.

That's right baby, I was willing to risk my bankroll (or at least $4 of it) in pursuit of some mindless fun. Stats showed that in 45 minutes of play, I never failed to see fourth street and rarely passed up the opportunity to see what fifth street would bring. And you know what? I crushed that game for nearly a $3 profit. I believe I might be the best .04-.08 stud hi-lo player in the world, so don't mess with me.

A few hands into the action, an observer popped in and made this request: "I only need .10 to play." Now, I've seen plenty of people begging for poker money before, but never at that low a limit and certainly never for that amount. Thus, I had to ask, "Are you serious?"

He assured me that he was. Normally, I would have told him to piss off and be done with it, but like Ray Kinsella says in Field of Dreams when he stops to pick up the young Moonlight Graham, "I could really use some karma right now."

"Fine," I told that beggardly soul, "$1 is coming your way." In the amount of time it takes billions to move through the international banking system, I fed this man's poker jones with a great big buck. The thought occurred to me that this 10-cent solicitation could be a complete goof. Wouldn't be the first time I've been snookered. But he did thank me effusively and even sweated me for awhile, watching me scoop a life-changing $1.26 pot with quad 7s.

All of this (including the quad 7s) pleased me at a time when solace was in short supply. And, who knows. Maybe I've kick-started the poor dude's poker career. Maybe he'll rise from the lowly depths of a penniless poker urchin to the heights of a major tournament winner

And, who knows. Maybe someday he'll pay me back my dollar. Somehow, though, I kinda doubt it.


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